my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
