The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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