dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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