I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
