He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
