I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
