I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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