In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize