Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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