i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
