Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
