I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize