My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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