scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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