lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I am available for nakedness
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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