I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
