dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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