Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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