sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
wow bdsm is so cute
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
