If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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