I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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