There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
