peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
