proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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