That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
