So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
