I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
