your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
