I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize