I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
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