I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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