I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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