your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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