these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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