I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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