My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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