We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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