Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
