my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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