where am i from again
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
