u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
