Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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