Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
