the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize