After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
