just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
