ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
