i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize