It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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