Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
there is glitter all over my balls
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