Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
