No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
