we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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