I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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