Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize