I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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