btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
