You're earring is so big in my mouth
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
