we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
